Stop Reading the Comments: How to Overcome Negativity

I was named 2024 Senior Teacher of the Year at Hammond High School. With the honor came the opportunity to address graduates at the May 22 awards ceremony. Here's the speech.

🎤🎤🎤

Good morning, class of 2024!

I am excited, grateful and incredibly humbled to be standing here addressing you today. You have had four years of amazing, dedicated and caring teachers – and you voted me as your Teacher of the Year. Thank you.

I have wanted to be Teacher of the Year for years. I think the biggest attraction was the validation. (And I mistakenly thought the distinction came with a parking spot, which would’ve been cool, too.)  But with all of the awesome choices you have here at Hammond High School, I decided a while back to just let it go.

And then, this year – of all years – you chose me. And when I say “of all years,” I mean … I have been through a lot in the past year or two. And I know many of you have, also.

I want to tell you about one of the struggles I had this year.

Back in February, I wanted to get in on the “hashtag – of course” challenge on Tiktok. It looked fun and harmless. So I gathered Hammond’s other fantastic language teachers – Madame Brower, Profe Burkett, Profesora Hall, and Señora Hart.

We made a reel: “I’m a Spanish teacher, of course I …”  It was fun!

I recruited my daughter Morgan, a Golden Bear alumna who sat where you’re sitting just last year, to edit the video. I posted it on my birthday.

And guess what? The TikTok video went viral. Like legitimately viral: 1.9 million views; 119 thousand likes; 1,363 comments; 3,818 saves. Who knew so many people would like a silly video made by a few language teachers.

But then …

I started reading the comments. OMG! The trolls and haters … the haters were cooking me! Like deep frying me, y’all.

They came for all of us. But they were particularly brutal toward me. They criticized my pronunciation of the only two Spanish words I even said. They dissed me for being a Spanish teacher who is not Latina. A few even accused me of misappropriating the cultures of Spanish-speakers. Some even went as far as to comment that they thank God that their Spanish teacher was Latino and not somebody who learned the language in school.

The comments were awful. And hurtful. But I kept reading them. And, to be honest, I started obsessing over them.

I wanted to defend myself – to post a response that demonstrated that I am, in fact, a good teacher. I wanted the haters to understand that I KNOW I’m not Latina. That I KNOW my Spanish is not perfect. That I choose to teach Spanish because I’m a verbal person who loves the idea of learning languages.

I wanted to tell them that I get nerdily thrilled when students ask me grammar questions. I wanted to reply that I actually tell my students that I want them to speak Spanish way better than I do.

I wanted to post that it is so overwhelmingly fulfilling when students tell me that they’ve used their Spanish to help somebody.

But I didn’t post any of that. Instead, I just kept reading the comments –  over and over. In fact, I allowed the comments to affect me so deeply that I started questioning my teaching skills and abilities. Nevermind that I have taught Spanish for 19 years. The negative comments had me thinking that maybe I am not a good teacher after all. Heck, maybe I’ve never been a good teacher. The comments were destroying my self-esteem and confidence.

So how did I get from questioning my entire career just a few short months ago to standing here in front of you as your Teacher of the Year?

I decided to stop reading the comments.

I looked back at some of the Hammond 100 surveys. (Yes, we teachers save stuff like that). The surveys reminded me that so many of you indicated that I am one of your trusted adults in school. I was reminded of your notes, cards and conversations about how I’ve helped you during your high school years.

I had to tell myself that those clowns in the comments don’t even know me. Heck, they’ve probably never even taught a high school class full of teenagers.

Why did I tell you all of this today? Because I want to encourage you, the royal Hammond High School Class of 2024 to STOP READING THE COMMENTS.

You have spent your high school years at the school “where people are important.” Remember that YOU ARE IMPORTANT.  Don’t allow trolls and haters to convince you otherwise.

Now, while recognizing your worth, remember that your participation in a community where people are important means that you are accountable. Now it’s YOUR turn to be, break and show, as Principal Reid says.

You, be the person to post something uplifting, rather than hurtful. Or simply keep strolling. You build relationships to break down barriers. In a world where hundreds of thousands of people can react to a single post, remember that there is actually a person behind the profile. (Well, usually.) You show others that they are important.

Mary Kay Ash, a great American businesswoman, said this: “Pretend that every single person you meet has a sign around his or her neck that says, "Make me feel important." Not only will you succeed in sales, you will succeed in life.”

I’d like to modify that message for you today:  Pretend that every single person you interact with on social media has a line in their profile that says “Make me feel important.” You never know what a person is going through or how many people are counting on that one person to stick with it. Your kindness may be exactly what is needed to counter the negativity.

So, class of 2024, please remember to be kind … even online.

Congratulations! I am so proud of you!

A Poem for Weary Teachers

Image edited using PicsArt: https://picsart.com/ 

A Poem for Weary Teachers

Tonight I will sleep.

I will forget

about school,

papers to grade,

lessons to plan.

I will not wake up

thinking of a plan 

to save those students --

that young woman,

that young man.

I will close my eyes and drift away 

from the event I forgot to pencil in, 

the chores I omitted from the to-do list,

the calls I missed.

I will fall asleep before my prayer is through.

Tonight I will …

--Stacey Carter

Teacher Health Matters: Tackling the Bathroom Issue Head-On

It was a Saturday morning. I was doing small chores around the house, and I had to go to the bathroom. But I kept holding it. I was home alone, so there was no need to wait for a family member to get out of the bathroom. And I wasn't expecting anyone to knock on the door.

I just kept delaying. I threw in a load of laundry. I put some shoes in their boxes in the closest. I even vacuumed a room. I knew I had to go, but I figured I'd get a few things done and then go.

Why was I holding it? What sense did that make?

I realized that I have conditioned myself to not use the bathroom when I need to. I have had years of practicing this awful habit. And I am not alone. I suspect that the majority of the more than 4 million American school teachers are used to holding it, too.

We teachers simply don’t tinkle whenever we need to. Our jobs and workdays are not designed to accommodate it. Some of us hold it for hours. And going number two ... who has time for that? We complain about it to each other. We commiserate. But when it's all said and done, not being able to go to the bathroom when we need to is chalked up as part of the job.

We need to change this. We need to normalize using the bathroom when necessary.

The National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases (NIDDKD) advises us to "go when we need to go." Holding it weakens your bladder and makes it difficult to empty the bladder completely, the organization explains on their Web site. "Urine left in your bladder can allow bacteria to grow and makes you more likely to develop a urinary tract infection (UTI)."

"Holding it" is what we do. We’ve been doing it for years. What can we do about it?

Just go, you say. Sounds logical enough. But it's not that easy. No teacher wants to leave students in a classroom unattended, although I must admit that I've done it a handful of times over the years. Those potty runs are stressful in themselves. I've been in the bathroom thinking, "Please, God, don't let there be a fire alarm or lock-down while I'm away from my kids."

One solution is for teachers to recruit a bathroom buddy who would be willing to check in with them during their planning period and cover their class during a brief bathroom run, if necessary.

Some female teachers preach the virtues of period panties. Others simply wait until they get home to hydrate.

Still others recommend Kegel exercises (contracting and relaxing pelvic muscles) to avoid team Teachers with Bladder Problems. Kegels at the ringing of each bell would be quite the workout!

Comment below with your ideas on how to deal with having to go on the job. And if you’ve had any experience advocating for self-care in the workplace, please share. Let's support each other.